The difference 6 months make....

So today marks six months since Brian kissed us goodbye, got into a car at midnight, and drove away.

As deployments go, this one has gone well, mostly because I've kept up morale with lots of energy and keeping busy. Many things have gone wrong, and many things have gone well, and I've weathered them all with calm assurance. I'm quite proud of myself.
This six month anniversary, however, finds me less than motivated. Sick, trying to sell a house, dealing with a dying cat, facing the holidays with no family....I'm hoping my morale will get a boost, because though we're half-way done, we're also only half-way there. So much has changed since Brian left, and more will change before he comes home.
When Brian left, Sam was still in diapers, wearing size 2T and just beginning to use full sentences. Now he's in underwear, too big for anything but 4T and can hold up his end of a phone conversation. I've taken the toddler rail off his bed and he can dress and undress himself. He's had four haircuts and visited a skating rink for the first time.
When Brian left, we had no guest room and an old rickety desk in our office/playroom/TV room. We had a broken garage door opener and our back deck looked like it had never been sealed once. When he'd been gone two months, we had a new garage door opener, brand new looking deck, a guest room and a handmade desk in our new bedroom/office. The nursery, once a junky storage room, is now a bona fide nursery, painted and filled with furniture. I've organized our backyard shed, which still had moving boxes in it.
I've managed to pay off all our debt and put our rental on the market, which will surely be sold by the time Brian comes home.
Six months is just long enough to feel like we're not living in the same world anymore, and its sad. We talk daily on the computer, but its been six months since I've held his hand or Sam has been hugged by him. He has no clue what its like to not have to change a diaper or spend an evening in our bedroom on the computer. It's like living a half-life, moving forward, time passing, but not really living the same life.

Right now it looks like Brian will be home in February for two weeks before he goes back for the last two months of the deployment. We're looking forward to it, though what the Army calls rest and relaxation is just a giant tease of what it would be like to have him home. By the time he has adjusted to the time difference and us to having him around, its time to say goodbye...again. Still, it's better than nothing, and we'll take it!
And even though its hard, I'm looking forward to having a "normal" deployment this time, with a year-long wait, and a parade when he gets home. So much better than a phone call at 5:30 on Christmas morning and a cold welcome off the back of a C-130 filled with injured soldiers on stretchers. I'm counting my many blessings, including my amazing husband whom I miss so much! He's doing an amazing job over there, taking care of his men, making a difference in the unit, and truly protecting us from harm. I'm so proud of my hero!
So, I'll keep doing my job over here for as long as he's doing his job over there. And I'll TRY to do it with a smile on my face.